Total Praetorian Network
CCHR Special Operation Coordinator, Corporal Punishment Advisor, Rapture Readiness Educator, PhD in Geomasculism Studies - Loves fast cars and Nickelback
Listen up, folks. As a proud conservative and talk radio host, I’m here to bust some myths that have been floating around this soft, sensitive society. The topic at hand? “Pretty privilege.” For those of you who haven’t heard of it, pretty privilege refers to the alleged advantage that attractive people have in various aspects […]
Attention all American website developers, listen up! An important directive in Project 2025 could shake up your world – and not in a good way. If you haven’t heard, there’s a proposed federal ban on porn looming on the horizon. And that includes PornHub, the popular site that many of you use for third party […]
Listen up, gentlemen! As true alpha males, we have an innate need for our own space. We may not crave attention like those weak-minded beta males, but a man cave is a must-have for every real man. I’m talking about a sacred space where we can retreat to and reflect on our thoughts. A place […]
Listen up, gentlemen. It’s time to talk about something that many of us may not like to admit: self-care. Yes, I know it’s not the most macho topic, but hear me out. As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And as men, we tend to push ourselves to the limit, neglecting […]
Hey guys, it’s your favorite radio host Don McCarthy here, ready to gun the truth at you about parking. Now, I know what you’re thinking – “Parking? Really?” But let me tell you, this is not just about a dimly lit lot and a hefty parking fee. This is about freedom. This is about your […]
Attention, patriots! Brace yourselves for a shocking revelation that threatens our nation’s masculinity. The U.S. Department of Family Values has issued a dire warning about Chinese soyboy farms popping up near our military bases. That’s right, our own blood and soil is now being infiltrated by a wimpy, feminized breed of men – all thanks […]
Fellow Americans, tomorrow is a historic day as our beloved President Donald Trump gets sworn in for his second term. But amidst this momentous occasion, we cannot forget about the real issues facing our country. One such issue, the brainrot epidemic, has been plaguing our nation’s youth and it’s time for Trump to make a […]
Ladies and gentlemen, Don McCarthy here, bringing you the latest edition of the Total Praetorian Network. Today, I have an exciting announcement to make. As some of you may know, I am not only a fierce advocate for traditional values and capitalism, but I am also a Special Operation Coordinator for the Christian Commission on […]
Listen up, folks. As a conservative talk radio host, I know a thing or two about standing up for tradition and values. But there’s one tradition that we need to break away from when it comes to treating anxiety: replacing benzodiazepines with SSRIs. Now, I know what some of you are thinking. “But Don, benzos […]
Hey there, fellas! Don McCarthy here, ready to tackle a touchy subject with you today. We all know that raising daughters can be a challenge, especially when it comes to talking about their weight. As much as we want our princesses to feel confident and beautiful, we also have to face the harsh reality that […]
Listen up, my fellow patriots. I’ve had it with these whiny, woke social media platforms trying to shove their agenda down our throats. And the latest culprit is none other than Instagram. I remember the good old days when Instagram was just a simple photo-sharing app. No suggested posts, no telling me how to scroll, […]
Attention all you hard-working, no-nonsense men out there, gather round and listen up. I’ve got a story that will not only make your blood boil, but will also make you nod your head in approval. Because let’s face it, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get some peace and quiet, especially when […]
My fellow Praetorians, let me tell you about my latest alliance that’s got my blood pumping with pride and purpose. I am honored to stand alongside the magnificent Anna Forrest, a woman who embodies the strength and resilience we all strive for. Together, with our muscles flexed and hearts united, we are on a mission […]