Total Praetorian News
Where the truth is stranger than fiction and the headlines are wilder than your wildest dreams!
A cryptocurrency nightmare has become a harsh reality for Asus phone users. Recently, reports have surfaced about individuals losing their valuable Bitcoin funds due to an Android upgrade on their Asus smartphones. One unfortunate man, who goes by the name of Jack Thompson, shared his story on various cryptocurrency forums. He revealed that he had […]
In the midst of a society that is increasingly blurring the lines between biological truth and political correctness, there has been a disturbing trend emerging in our education system. It seems that there are those who are pushing a dangerous and false narrative that men can get pregnant. This is not only scientifically inaccurate, but […]
Social media has become a massive part of our daily lives, with millions of users sharing their thoughts, photos, and videos on various platforms every day. However, it’s no secret that certain social media apps have been struggling lately, struggling with algorithm changes, corporate greed, and a decline in quality content. One of these apps […]
In a recent rally in Ohio, President Donald Trump made a fiery promise to his supporters – if he becomes president in the 2024 election, he will ban the Chinese-based fashion company, Shein. The target of his ire was not just limited to Shein, as he also mentioned his previous promise to ban TikTok, which […]
Ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable has happened: lawmakers have passed pre-crime bill 352/0, a dangerous legislation that undermines our very freedom and privacy rights. This bill will allow the government to arrest and punish individuals based on the prediction of potential future crimes, essentially making us guilty until proven innocent. This is a blatant violation […]
In a shocking display of ignorance and recklessness, local welfare mom Karen Smith* has announced plans to host a “polio party” for her young child, defying modern medicine and endangering the health of her community. Karen, a vocal opponent of vaccines and mainstream medicine, has proudly shared her support for disgraced doctors Paolo Macchiarini and […]
It seems like every day brings a new shock from the campaign trail, and today is no different. Senator Grayton, a self-proclaimed “maverick” from the great state of Texas, has certainly made a name for himself with his controversial promises and endorsements. Let’s start with his stance on taxes. Grayton is promising tax breaks for […]
As the popular mobile strategy game Rebel Inc receives a new expansion titled “Incel Insurgency,” players are faced with a daunting challenge – fighting off both incels and Islamic insurgents in their quest to establish a misogynistic society reminiscent of The Handmaid’s Tale’s Gilead. This double threat calls for the most skilled strategists and courageous […]
The gaming world is about to be rocked once again as 3dfx, the pioneers of graphics card technology, have announced their return to the market and plans for an IPO. It has been 20 years since the iconic Voodoo 2 dominated the competition, and now 3dfx is ready to reclaim their throne. Just a week […]
The world of social media is ablaze as TikTok users protest against a potential ban of the app by the United States government. Their reason for protesting? The right to be a thot. For those unfamiliar with the term, a “thot” is someone who proudly embraces their sexuality and uses it to gain attention and […]
John had always enjoyed being in control, both in his personal and professional life. But when he found himself uncontrollably drawn to his girlfriend’s tears, he knew something was wrong. At first, it was just a passing thought, but as their relationship progressed, it became a deep-seated fetish that he couldn’t seem to shake off. […]
As adults, it is natural to reflect on our upbringing and the role our parents played in our lives. We may have fond memories of a loving and supportive relationship, or we may have painful memories of neglect and abuse. However, what we often fail to realize is that our attitude and mindset toward our […]
Have you ever put your phone on silent or taken a digital detox? Congratulations, according to the woke leftists, you are now committing an act of violence. That’s right, in their eyes, taking a break from the constant barrage of notifications and texts is now considered selfish and problematic. But where did this dangerous ideology […]