Markets

The Trump Effect: Why Clorox Could Soar in 2025

Tomorrow is the big day. The day when the fate of our nation will be decided. Will the radical left continue to push their socialist agenda or will common sense and conservatism prevail? As we anxiously await the results of the 2024 election, one thing is for certain – the stock market is watching closely. […]

Fraud

Karma Crushes Infamous Scammer in Swedish Workplace Accident

Another day, another workplace accident. This time, it involved a notorious scammer in Sweden who met his timely demise while excavating. His name was Roland Banks, but to many victims, he was known as the “Phony Phone Peddler” and “Con Artist Concert Ticket Seller.” Banks had made a name for himself by swindling innocent people […]

Faith

Priest Battles Dark Forces in Demon Cat Exorcism

In a spine-chilling encounter with forces beyond comprehension, Father Thomas faced what may be one of the strangest exorcisms of his career—a black cat, tormented by a malevolent entity, which had been terrorizing a small rural town. The feline, once a beloved pet, had transformed into a creature of unnatural aggression, attacking its owners and […]

Food & Drink

Rise of the Mighty: Iceland’s Bold Ban on Pineapple Pizza

Iceland – land of fire and ice, home to legendary Vikings and now, the brave pioneers in the fight against one of the biggest culinary crimes of our time – pineapple on pizza. While some may scoff at this seemingly insignificant ban, make no mistake, it is a monumental victory for traditionalists and pizza lovers […]

Tech

Phalloid Power: The Solution for Urban Wind Energy

In the serene and trendy neighborhood of Södermalm in Stockholm, a storm is brewing. But this time, it’s not your typical Nordic weather. It’s the clash between the hipsters and the government, all over the shape of a wind tower. Yes, you read that right. The very symbol of masculinity, the phallus, is making its […]

Education

The Holy Revival: How One Teacher Vanquished a Troublemaker and Saved a Soul

It’s a common tale – a troublesome student, a burnt-out teacher, and a classroom in chaos. It seemed like a hopeless situation, until Fiona Vrhovnik stepped in. This substitute teacher was not your average educator. Standing tall at 186 cm with a fierce determination, she was experienced in the art of combat. And she wasn’t […]

Business

Finance influencer sparks controversy by endorsing organ trade for financial growth

A controversial finance influencer has made waves after publicly endorsing the Human Organ Free Trade Agreement (HOFTA), a contentious deal between the United States and China that allows the sale of human organs. In a recent interview with Total Praetorian Network, the influencer shared his personal story of how selling a kidney helped him recover […]

Law and Order

Elderly Scam Punished with Blood Donations

The recent case of a scammer preying on the elderly has caught the attention of the Praetorian Network. While many may expect the typical punishment of imprisonment, this particular criminal is facing a unique form of justice. John “The Con” Smith, as he is known in the criminal world, has been scamming the elderly for […]

Europe

Rise to Manhood: Austria’s Bold New Architecture Celebrates Life

Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your seats because Austria is about to make a major statement. The country known for its stunning architecture is set to break records with its latest project – a towering structure standing at a jaw-dropping 470 meters. But here’s the catch – it’s shaped like a penis. Yes, you read […]

Wokeness

The Shocking Trend of Spraytanning Kids for Woke Parents

In today’s society, the topic of race and privilege has become more prevalent than ever. Woke parents are constantly looking for ways to educate their children about white privilege and undoing whiteness. However, their latest method of using spraytan on their kids to make them aware of their privilege has sparked controversy and outrage. It […]

Hardware

Crypto Miners Rejoice: New AI Models Compatible with ASIC Rigs!

Attention all crypto miners! Are you worried about the impending crash of the cryptocurrency market and the possible obsolescence of your expensive ASIC rigs? Fear not, for there is a new ray of hope on the horizon – new generative AI models specifically designed to run on the same rigs used for mining Bitcoin. This […]

Biotech

Crey Industries Makes History: First Successful Human Clone Created

Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your seats because the news we are about to bring to you will leave you in awe. Crey Industries, the economic titan based in Paragon City, has just announced that they have successfully cloned an adult human. This unprecedented feat has left the world reeling and questioning the potential […]