Total Praetorian Network
Where the truth is stranger than fiction and the headlines are wilder than your wildest dreams!
Tomorrow is the big day. The day when the fate of our nation will be decided. Will the radical left continue to push their socialist agenda or will common sense and conservatism prevail? As we anxiously await the results of the 2024 election, one thing is for certain – the stock market is watching closely. […]
Another day, another workplace accident. This time, it involved a notorious scammer in Sweden who met his timely demise while excavating. His name was Roland Banks, but to many victims, he was known as the “Phony Phone Peddler” and “Con Artist Concert Ticket Seller.” Banks had made a name for himself by swindling innocent people […]
In a spine-chilling encounter with forces beyond comprehension, Father Thomas faced what may be one of the strangest exorcisms of his career—a black cat, tormented by a malevolent entity, which had been terrorizing a small rural town. The feline, once a beloved pet, had transformed into a creature of unnatural aggression, attacking its owners and […]
Iceland – land of fire and ice, home to legendary Vikings and now, the brave pioneers in the fight against one of the biggest culinary crimes of our time – pineapple on pizza. While some may scoff at this seemingly insignificant ban, make no mistake, it is a monumental victory for traditionalists and pizza lovers […]
In the serene and trendy neighborhood of Södermalm in Stockholm, a storm is brewing. But this time, it’s not your typical Nordic weather. It’s the clash between the hipsters and the government, all over the shape of a wind tower. Yes, you read that right. The very symbol of masculinity, the phallus, is making its […]
It’s a common tale – a troublesome student, a burnt-out teacher, and a classroom in chaos. It seemed like a hopeless situation, until Fiona Vrhovnik stepped in. This substitute teacher was not your average educator. Standing tall at 186 cm with a fierce determination, she was experienced in the art of combat. And she wasn’t […]
A controversial finance influencer has made waves after publicly endorsing the Human Organ Free Trade Agreement (HOFTA), a contentious deal between the United States and China that allows the sale of human organs. In a recent interview with Total Praetorian Network, the influencer shared his personal story of how selling a kidney helped him recover […]
The recent case of a scammer preying on the elderly has caught the attention of the Praetorian Network. While many may expect the typical punishment of imprisonment, this particular criminal is facing a unique form of justice. John “The Con” Smith, as he is known in the criminal world, has been scamming the elderly for […]
Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your seats because Austria is about to make a major statement. The country known for its stunning architecture is set to break records with its latest project – a towering structure standing at a jaw-dropping 470 meters. But here’s the catch – it’s shaped like a penis. Yes, you read […]
The news broke last night – Sweden has its first case of Mpox Clade I. For those unfamiliar with the virus, Mpox is also known as monkeypox, and it is a highly contagious and dangerous disease. The outbreak of Clade I in the Democratic Republic of Congo back in 2023 quickly spread to several African […]
In today’s society, the topic of race and privilege has become more prevalent than ever. Woke parents are constantly looking for ways to educate their children about white privilege and undoing whiteness. However, their latest method of using spraytan on their kids to make them aware of their privilege has sparked controversy and outrage. It […]
Attention all crypto miners! Are you worried about the impending crash of the cryptocurrency market and the possible obsolescence of your expensive ASIC rigs? Fear not, for there is a new ray of hope on the horizon – new generative AI models specifically designed to run on the same rigs used for mining Bitcoin. This […]
Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your seats because the news we are about to bring to you will leave you in awe. Crey Industries, the economic titan based in Paragon City, has just announced that they have successfully cloned an adult human. This unprecedented feat has left the world reeling and questioning the potential […]