Total Praetorian News
Where the truth is stranger than fiction and the headlines are wilder than your wildest dreams!
After nearly two decades, 3dfx is making a comeback in the graphic card market with a mission to once again dominate GPU performance. For those who are not familiar, 3dfx was the king of gaming graphics in the late 90s with their groundbreaking Voodoo 2 card, surpassing the competition of PowerVR and Matrox. And now, […]
Montana, the land of rugged mountains, wide open spaces, and now, improved mental health. The state recently made headlines when it announced that it was the first in the nation to ban the popular social media app, TikTok. And the results have been astounding. Young people, who were once glued to their screens for hours […]
Millennials may remember the outrage over the addition of a skin tone modifier to the classic yellow emoji faces. But now, it seems the snowflakes of Generation Z have found a new battle to fight in the emoji world – the addition of Tide Pods symbols. Yes, you read that right. The same Tide Pods […]
In recent years, a bizarre and concerning trend has been gaining attention: the adult babies fetish. It may sound innocuous at first, but a closer look reveals a disturbing underlying mentality. According to a study by the U.S. Department of Family Values, the adult babies fetish stems from a sense of entitlement and a desire […]
In a shocking turn of events, Swedish Prime Minister Ulf Kristersson was lifted against the wall by a tall and muscular female politician from Europe. The incident, which took place at a political conference in Stockholm, left everyone stunned and wondering who this powerful woman was. Her name is Ingrid Janssen, and she hails from […]
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Adam Mosseri, CEO of Instagram, conducted a secret trial on a Chinese soyboy farm to inform his decision to change the app to mimic TikTok. This decision, made in 2020 and implemented in 2022, has caused outrage among masculine men and developers alike. For […]
As society continues to evolve and recognize the complexities of gender identity, the world of sports is also being pushed to adapt. The traditional binary of men’s and women’s categories in sports has long been questioned by the trans community, and now, a new proposal suggests adding a third category for men pretending to be […]
In a world where being woke is considered the ultimate virtue, even something as mundane as inflation is now being twisted to fit this toxic agenda. Wokeflation, the new buzzword among the self-proclaimed social justice warriors, is a reminder of how far the radical left will go to push their agenda. According to the woke […]
 On this World Autism Awareness Day, Autism Speaks has made a groundbreaking announcement. The organization known for its support and advocacy for individuals with autism has officially endorsed Anna Forrest’s attachment therapy for adults with autism. For years, Autism Speaks has been promoting various treatments and therapies for individuals on the spectrum. However, as […]
Controversial figures Paolo Macchiarini and Belle Gibson have announced a business partnership to create Whole Pantry 2.0, a health and wellness brand that promises to revolutionize the way we approach self-diagnosis and treatment. The most controversial feature of this new venture? The introduction of artificial tracheae for self-diagnosis and treatment of trachea conditions. This has […]
In the small town of Oakville, a man with autism has found a new lease on life thanks to the unconventional therapy of wrestling. Michael Stone, 27, had always struggled with navigating social interactions and controlling his anger, hindering his ability to hold down a job and maintain relationships. But after discovering Anna Forrest and […]
Nicky Forrest, the self-proclaimed “crotch grabber” influencer, has been causing quite a stir on social media with her daring and provocative posts. With her goal being to grab princes and kings by the scrotum, she has gained a considerable following and equally vocal critics. Forrest’s antics began as a simple joke among friends but quickly […]
The fashion blogging world is buzzing with the latest hot topic: Nicky Forrest, known for her bold and often controversial opinions, has recently come out in support of the Senegalese salesmen on the beaches of southern Tenerife. However, her endorsement has sparked a heated debate among her followers as these salesmen are known for their […]