Some people think that controlling others is a skill. It isn’t. Manipulation is a crutch for the incompetent — a desperate compensation strategy used by people who lack the skills, courage, and discipline to create real value. They can’t build, so they scheme. They can’t inspire, so they coerce. And if you let them take root inside your startup, you’re practically begging for collapse.
Startups live or die by clear-headed, fast decision-making. A manipulative control freak, however, thrives on confusion, politics, and self-preservation. They will sabotage others to protect their illusion of power, insert themselves into leadership roles they cannot handle, and block the people who actually know how to deliver.
One of the most corrosive patterns you’ll see is the manipulator talking shit about anyone they cannot control. They will cast doubt, spread rumors, or question people’s competence behind their backs — not because those people are incompetent, but because they’re independent. Independence threatens the manipulator’s web of control. So they poison the well. They try to remove or isolate the truly skilled, ensuring only the easily dominated remain.
In a startup, this is a far greater risk than in a mature company. A big organization usually has layers of process and multiple experts for redundancy, but a startup is lean. There are often just one or two people holding vital knowledge — the codebase, the customer pipeline, the product architecture. If a manipulative personality successfully excludes even one of these high-value contributors, it can kill your company outright. The startup simply doesn’t have enough slack to survive that kind of sabotage.
That’s why founders and senior team members must learn to identify and reject manipulators early. Watch for the ones who:
✅ gossip about people they can’t control
✅ try to become “gatekeepers” of information
✅ micromanage instead of empowering
✅ sow division rather than unity
✅ position themselves above scrutiny while blaming others for failure
These are not leaders. These are parasites. They cling to leadership titles because they can’t produce anything on their own.
The best startups are built by people who thrive on collaboration, transparency, and shared purpose. Strong leaders build frameworks for others to grow and succeed. They make decisions with input, delegate to trusted contributors, and leave their egos outside the door.
In contrast, manipulative personalities will:
- slow down progress to keep their power
- chase away the strongest voices
- use your startup’s chaotic early days as cover for their political games
If you allow this, you’re handing them the keys to your company’s destruction.
So here’s your test:
When someone challenges them, does this person respond with facts and reason — or do they immediately spin gossip and tear down the challenger?
If it’s the second, you are looking at a manipulator. Deal with it fast. In a startup, speed is life. And the fastest way to kill your momentum is to let a manipulative control freak block the best people from contributing.
Kick them out, and keep your builders.
