Total Praetorian Network
There was once a time when titles meant something. Epidemiologist signaled a lifetime of study. Surgeon demanded precision, ethics, and sacrifice. But welcome to the New Eraâwhere snake oil flows like spring water and charlatans no longer hide. They smirk. They post. They rebrand. Andrew Wakefield, disgraced father of the anti-vax cult, now calls himself […]
âThe Earth is male. And his shield is fading.â Thatâs the opening voiceover of Core of Men, a controversial yet high-octane science fiction blockbuster that posits a bold, testosterone-fueled hypothesis: Earthâs magnetic field is directly tied to human masculinity. As a physicist, I approached the film with more than a little skepticism. But I also […]
Hollywood finally caught up with the truth weâve been shouting for years: when men get weak, the world falls apart. Core of Men, the explosive new disaster thriller, doesnât hold back. The premise? Earthâs magnetic field is collapsingâand the root cause isnât solar flares or a shifting core. Itâs the sissification of modern man. Science […]
It started with a kid and a screen. While cooling down at Iron Will Gym, Oljemannen caught sight of a young boy in the lounge area playing Minecraft on his phone. He watched with curiosity as the pixelated character Steve split a full wooden log with nothing but his bare square hands. Then he asked […]
Opening Scene: Greg, Wix, and a No-Code Showdown The episode opens with Greg hunched over his laptop in Waystarâs New York office, nodding along to Taylor Swift as he builds a campaign website for Brightstar Adventure Park. His fingers tap gently on the keyboard as he adjusts the layout using Wix. SuddenlyâBAM!âhis chair jolts forward […]
Opening Scene: News Broadcast with Hilarious Tickers The episode kicks off with a GoJo corporate news broadcast playing in Waystarâs New York office. The anchors discuss the latest market shifts, the ongoing integration of Waystar RoyCo into GoJo, and, most urgently, the worsening Fuengirola virus outbreak. However, as always, the news tickers steal the show: […]
Opening Scene: Matsson in New York The camera sweeps over the Manhattan skyline before settling inside the sleek, glass-walled headquarters of Waystar RoyCo. The office has changed under GoJoâs leadershipâeverything feels more efficient, yet somehow more chaotic. Lukas Matsson is standing near the windows, watching the city with an unreadable smirk. On paper, his presence […]
Welcome to Total Praetorian Network, where we bring you the latest news and opinions on hot topics that keep the adrenaline pumping. Today, weâre delving into the twisted world of âPregnant Smokerâ, a radical antivax group that is causing outrage and putting lives at risk. This group, led by two self-proclaimed ânicofeministsâ named Dana Rak […]
Ladies and Gentlemen, brace yourselves. I am about to drop a truth bomb that may shatter your perception of masculinity. But someone needs to speak up and expose the harsh reality: weak men, yes, WEAK MEN, tend to like Taylor Swift while REAL men, the ones who exude true strength and masculinity, prefer the gritty […]
Welcome to Total Praetorian Network, adrenaline junkies! Amelie Rogers here, bringing you the latest on one of the worldâs biggest pop stars, Taylor Swift. Recently, many fans have noticed a pattern in her tour stops for the Eras World Tour: she has played in the Americas, Western Europe, Australia and Japan, but completely skipped over […]
In a world that values innovation and risk-taking, thereâs a fine line between boldness and recklessness. Few embody this dangerous crossing more than Andrew Wakefield and Paolo Macchiariniâa pair whose misguided convictions and unethical practices have left trails of harm and controversy in their wake. The âFake It Till You Make Itâ Surgeon Paolo Macchiarini […]
Thereâs a major upheaval in the Mushroom Kingdom, fans, and trust us, you donât want to miss this. The beloved final boss of UnitedHealthCare, Morton Koopa, has been defeated by none other than the jump-happy, high-flying Luigi Mangione. Can you believe it? Itâs like a real-life version of the infamous Super Mario Bros. game, and […]
Hey manly men of the Praetorian Network, itâs me, Don McCarthy here to talk about a topic that gets my testosterone pumping: Nickelback. Thatâs right, the band that has been the butt of jokes and insults from the so-called âmusic criticsâ. Well, Iâm here to tell you that hating on Nickelback is for weak-willed, girlie […]