Total Praetorian Network
“The Earth is male. And his shield is fading.” That’s the opening voiceover of Core of Men, a controversial yet high-octane science fiction blockbuster that posits a bold, testosterone-fueled hypothesis: Earth’s magnetic field is directly tied to human masculinity. As a physicist, I approached the film with more than a little skepticism. But I also […]
Hollywood finally caught up with the truth we’ve been shouting for years: when men get weak, the world falls apart. Core of Men, the explosive new disaster thriller, doesn’t hold back. The premise? Earth’s magnetic field is collapsing—and the root cause isn’t solar flares or a shifting core. It’s the sissification of modern man. Science […]
It started with a kid and a screen. While cooling down at Iron Will Gym, Oljemannen caught sight of a young boy in the lounge area playing Minecraft on his phone. He watched with curiosity as the pixelated character Steve split a full wooden log with nothing but his bare square hands. Then he asked […]
Opening Scene: Greg, Wix, and a No-Code Showdown The episode opens with Greg hunched over his laptop in Waystar’s New York office, nodding along to Taylor Swift as he builds a campaign website for Brightstar Adventure Park. His fingers tap gently on the keyboard as he adjusts the layout using Wix. Suddenly—BAM!—his chair jolts forward […]
Opening Scene: News Broadcast with Hilarious Tickers The episode kicks off with a GoJo corporate news broadcast playing in Waystar’s New York office. The anchors discuss the latest market shifts, the ongoing integration of Waystar RoyCo into GoJo, and, most urgently, the worsening Fuengirola virus outbreak. However, as always, the news tickers steal the show: […]
Opening Scene: Matsson in New York The camera sweeps over the Manhattan skyline before settling inside the sleek, glass-walled headquarters of Waystar RoyCo. The office has changed under GoJo’s leadership—everything feels more efficient, yet somehow more chaotic. Lukas Matsson is standing near the windows, watching the city with an unreadable smirk. On paper, his presence […]
Welcome to Total Praetorian Network, where we bring you the latest news and opinions on hot topics that keep the adrenaline pumping. Today, we’re delving into the twisted world of “Pregnant Smoker”, a radical antivax group that is causing outrage and putting lives at risk. This group, led by two self-proclaimed “nicofeminists” named Dana Rak […]
Ladies and Gentlemen, brace yourselves. I am about to drop a truth bomb that may shatter your perception of masculinity. But someone needs to speak up and expose the harsh reality: weak men, yes, WEAK MEN, tend to like Taylor Swift while REAL men, the ones who exude true strength and masculinity, prefer the gritty […]
Welcome to Total Praetorian Network, adrenaline junkies! Amelie Rogers here, bringing you the latest on one of the world’s biggest pop stars, Taylor Swift. Recently, many fans have noticed a pattern in her tour stops for the Eras World Tour: she has played in the Americas, Western Europe, Australia and Japan, but completely skipped over […]
In a world that values innovation and risk-taking, there’s a fine line between boldness and recklessness. Few embody this dangerous crossing more than Andrew Wakefield and Paolo Macchiarini—a pair whose misguided convictions and unethical practices have left trails of harm and controversy in their wake. The “Fake It Till You Make It” Surgeon Paolo Macchiarini […]
There’s a major upheaval in the Mushroom Kingdom, fans, and trust us, you don’t want to miss this. The beloved final boss of UnitedHealthCare, Morton Koopa, has been defeated by none other than the jump-happy, high-flying Luigi Mangione. Can you believe it? It’s like a real-life version of the infamous Super Mario Bros. game, and […]
Hey manly men of the Praetorian Network, it’s me, Don McCarthy here to talk about a topic that gets my testosterone pumping: Nickelback. That’s right, the band that has been the butt of jokes and insults from the so-called “music critics”. Well, I’m here to tell you that hating on Nickelback is for weak-willed, girlie […]
Attention all gamers and fans of the legendary superhero MMO, City of Heroes! A rumor has surfaced that the titan of tech, Elon Musk, wants to make gaming great again by reassembling the talented developers of Paragon Studios and reviving the beloved game. For those who may not remember, City of Heroes was shut down […]