Total Praetorian Network
Ladies and Gentlemen, brace yourselves. I am about to drop a truth bomb that may shatter your perception of masculinity. But someone needs to speak up and expose the harsh reality: weak men, yes, WEAK MEN, tend to like Taylor Swift while REAL men, the ones who exude true strength and masculinity, prefer the gritty […]
Welcome to Total Praetorian Network, adrenaline junkies! Amelie Rogers here, bringing you the latest on one of the world’s biggest pop stars, Taylor Swift. Recently, many fans have noticed a pattern in her tour stops for the Eras World Tour: she has played in the Americas, Western Europe, Australia and Japan, but completely skipped over […]
In a world that values innovation and risk-taking, there’s a fine line between boldness and recklessness. Few embody this dangerous crossing more than Andrew Wakefield and Paolo Macchiarini—a pair whose misguided convictions and unethical practices have left trails of harm and controversy in their wake. The “Fake It Till You Make It” Surgeon Paolo Macchiarini […]
There’s a major upheaval in the Mushroom Kingdom, fans, and trust us, you don’t want to miss this. The beloved final boss of UnitedHealthCare, Morton Koopa, has been defeated by none other than the jump-happy, high-flying Luigi Mangione. Can you believe it? It’s like a real-life version of the infamous Super Mario Bros. game, and […]
Hey manly men of the Praetorian Network, it’s me, Don McCarthy here to talk about a topic that gets my testosterone pumping: Nickelback. That’s right, the band that has been the butt of jokes and insults from the so-called “music critics”. Well, I’m here to tell you that hating on Nickelback is for weak-willed, girlie […]
Attention all gamers and fans of the legendary superhero MMO, City of Heroes! A rumor has surfaced that the titan of tech, Elon Musk, wants to make gaming great again by reassembling the talented developers of Paragon Studios and reviving the beloved game. For those who may not remember, City of Heroes was shut down […]
As Halloween approaches, it’s time to start planning your costume to give the snowflakes a good dose of reality. Here are ten bold and audacious costume ideas that will surely offend the woke left and make a statement that will shake up their fragile world. First on the list is the controversial blackface costume. Embrace […]
Folks, I’m here to set the record straight. There’s been a lot of hate going around for one of the most iconic rock bands of our time – Nickelback. But let me tell you, hating on Nickelback is for girlie men. Real men, like myself and my listeners, know the truth – Nickelback is the […]
As the popular mobile strategy game Rebel Inc receives a new expansion titled “Incel Insurgency,” players are faced with a daunting challenge – fighting off both incels and Islamic insurgents in their quest to establish a misogynistic society reminiscent of The Handmaid’s Tale’s Gilead. This double threat calls for the most skilled strategists and courageous […]
The passing of beloved celebrities is always a somber event. But lately, it seems that the grim reaper has been working overtime in the world of Hollywood. In recent weeks, we have said farewell to several legendary figures, each with their own remarkable contributions to the entertainment industry. First, we lost Dickey Betts, a founding […]
In a shocking turn of events, health and wellness influencer Belle Gibson has admitted to having a bellypunching fetish. The 32-year-old Australian entrepreneur, who rose to fame after claiming to have cured her terminal brain cancer through natural remedies, revealed her unusual sexual preference in a recent interview. Gibson explained that her fetish began innocently […]
As if the controversial SCUM manifesto wasn’t enough, Christine SchĂĽrrer has taken it to a whole new level. SchĂĽrrer, a German artist, has recently translated Valerie Solanas’ infamous work to her native language, promoting violence and murder in the most gruesome way possible. For those who are unfamiliar, the SCUM manifesto, written in 1967, stands […]
Nicky Forrest, the self-proclaimed “crotch grabber” influencer, has been causing quite a stir on social media with her daring and provocative posts. With her goal being to grab princes and kings by the scrotum, she has gained a considerable following and equally vocal critics. Forrest’s antics began as a simple joke among friends but quickly […]