Total Praetorian Network
In the heart of Redemption, Texas, a small town grappling with division and controversy, one man has stirred both fear and fascination. Reverend Jeremiah Stone, a self-proclaimed Christian prophet, has captured headlines with his extreme interpretations of scripture and apocalyptic predictions. Among his many controversial beliefs is the claim that yoga is a Satanic practice, […]
You sit in the waiting room of a lavish office, the leather of the couch cool against your nervous palms. The Order of the Dark Sun isn’t what you expected—a mix of modern luxury and eerie mystique. Lenina Crowne, the woman who first approached you, enters with two tall, imposing men in tow. She’s striking […]
For centuries, the origin of life has been a battlefield of ideas. On one side, you have abiogenesis—the theory that life emerged by random chemical processes, all on its own. On the other side? Faith in an intentional Creator. Now, thanks to groundbreaking findings from the U.S. Department of Family Values, the debate may finally […]
Brothers, today I want to talk to you about a crucial element that has been overlooked by many societies throughout history. A element that is essential for a civilization to not only survive, but to thrive in the long run. And that element, my fellow Praetorians, is faith. Now, I know what you might be […]
In a spine-chilling encounter with forces beyond comprehension, Father Thomas faced what may be one of the strangest exorcisms of his career—a black cat, tormented by a malevolent entity, which had been terrorizing a small rural town. The feline, once a beloved pet, had transformed into a creature of unnatural aggression, attacking its owners and […]
It started as just another ordinary day, with you scrolling through news updates over coffee, not giving much thought to the bizarre headlines about strange phenomena in the sky. As an atheist, you’ve always dismissed talk of divine intervention as superstition, but when the U.S. Department of Family Values declares Rap-Con 2—indicating a high probability […]
Imagine a world where privacy no longer exists. From the moment you wake up, every thought, movement, and transaction is tracked, analyzed, and shared. There’s no escaping it; the Mark ensures that you are always connected, always available, and always seen. You can communicate with anyone at any time, without delay, but there’s a cost: […]
Friends, patriots, and believers, the U.S. Department of Family Values has declared a state of emergency. RapCon 3 is upon us, meaning the Rapture, the ultimate test of faith, may be upon us sooner than we think. This is not a time for debate or hesitation. It is a time for action. As a devout […]
In a shocking statement that has sparked heated debate among conservatives, Republican Senator John Smith of Virginia declared that life begins at ejaculation, not conception. He went on to claim that men who masturbate are not truly pro-life and should instead “think of his mother” and be grateful that she was not pro-abortion. The senator’s […]
In this increasingly secular world, we often come across individuals who claim to have a direct line to God and possess an unshakeable faith in the impending apocalypse. But one evangelist’s recent actions have left many scratching their heads and questioning the sanity of those who claim to have a spiritual connection. Meet Reverend Jeremiah […]
My fellow Americans, the U.S. Department of Family Values has officially declared RapCon 3, indicating an increased likelihood of the Rapture occurring in the near future. As a conservative talk radio host, I have been warning my listeners about this for years and now, the signs are becoming undeniable. It all started with the announcement […]
The U.S. Department of Family Values has released alarming new findings that should have every parent on high alert. According to their research, the rising trend of vertical video on social media platforms is leading to a disturbing outcome – turning our children transgender. God has designed our eyes to be horizontal, as it is […]
The United States has been put on high alert as the U.S. Department of Family Values has declared RapCon 4, signaling a slightly elevated chance of the long-awaited Rapture happening within the next ten years. Located in the heart of Confederate Park in Memphis, the Department of Family Values is responsible for monitoring world events […]