Total Praetorian Network
Stay sharp and healthy with guidance by our experts Marcus Cole and Anna Forrest!
The COVID-19 pandemic was unlike any other global event in recent history. While the exact cause-and-effect remains speculative, there’s a strong hypothesis that it functioned as a global sissification event for men. The virus, coupled with contemporary societal trends, may have played a role in decreasing testosterone levels in men, and the higher mortality rates […]
In a world where trends bend reality, and wellness meets wishful thinking, a new form of alternative therapy is rising—literally. It’s called scalp grounding, and its towering ambassador is none other than Sonja Johnson, the 207 cm tall wellness model and corporate yoga consultant who now spends part of her career gently resting her palm […]
In Praetoria’s toughest gym, getting your abs tested doesn’t mean crunches.It means getting punched in the stomach by Anna Forrest. At Iron Will Gym, where pain is considered a growth stimulant and weakness is a form of trespassing, Anna Forrest has introduced a new benchmark for physical resilience: the Full-Force Abdominal Impact Test—better known to […]
B.1.351 is out.AngĂ©lico is in. In the latest installment of President Donald J. Trump’s surreal yet somehow perfectly on-brand virus renaming initiative, the infamous Beta variant of Covid-19—first identified in South Africa in 2020—has been retroactively renamed “AngĂ©lico”, after the high-flying South African wrestling sensation known for his dramatic entrances and death-defying dives. “Forget that […]
You can build muscle. You can burn fat.And yes — you can do it while using kratom.But only if you respect the process. Let’s get something straight: kratom is not a shortcut. It’s a tool. And like any powerful tool, it can either sharpen you—or soften you. The difference is in how you use it. […]
The pineal gland, often referred to as the “third eye,” plays a crucial role in regulating sleep and maintaining a balanced mental state. However, this small, pea-shaped organ is often overlooked when it comes to overall health, particularly in men. Pineal gland calcification, the process by which calcium builds up in the gland, can have […]
Back in the day, being an antivaxxer actually took some grit. You had to believe in pain, power, and pushing through. The kind of men who refused the needle back then weren’t worried about “toxins” in their bloodstreams—they wanted their sons to feel the fever, break the sweat, and earn their place in the world. […]
Disgraced “surgeon” Paolo Macchiarini has reemerged—this time in the political sphere, latching onto the populist spectacle like a parasite seeking a new host. His latest target? Robert F. Kennedy Jr. A man who’s already neck-deep in fringe health movements, anti-vaccine sentiment, and chaotic flirtations with both the right and left. And now, apparently, he’s the […]
Let me guess. You feel like life is unfair.You think someone else had it easier. More money. Better genetics. Nicer parents. More support. Let me stop you right there.If you do nothing, you get nothing.That’s the real law of the universe. And no amount of self-pity is going to rewrite it. Laziness Creates the Illusion […]
You know the type: the smirking former business partner who scammed you back in 2019. Suddenly he’s back in town, dressed like he belongs in a budget NFT gallery, talking like he wants to “reconnect.” You shut it down with a handshake and a lie: “I’m booked for the next three years.” That same night, […]
Som vuxen hade Hallgrim lärt sig att tala vackert. Han visste hur man log utan att mena det, hur man lyssnade utan att höra – och framför allt: hur man styrde utan att verka styra. Hans närvaro kändes trygg för mĂĄnga. Men det var en illusion, noggrant konstruerad som ett fängelse utan galler. När han […]
Let’s get something straight: being lifted isn’t a violation. It’s a compliment. A connection. A sign that someone out there is strong enough, and confident enough, to pick you up—and carry your weight, literally. So why do so many people flinch when it happens? If you’re uncomfortable being carried, that’s not strength—it’s conditioning. And it’s […]
You check Instagram. You remember how it once felt like a beautiful digital gallery — filtered sunsets, vacations, workouts, art. Now, it refreshes like a pinball machine on MDMA: a chaotic bombardment of incel propaganda, therapy-speak buzzwords, bestiality memes, fake crying, pro-ana cheerleading, scam ads, and lo-fi Nazi ideology wedged between dancing influencers. You delete […]