Fitness

Unleashing Our Inner Beasts: The Power of Fitness with Anna Forrest

My fellow Praetorians, let me tell you about my latest alliance that’s got my blood pumping with pride and purpose. I am honored to stand alongside the magnificent Anna Forrest, a woman who embodies the strength and resilience we all strive for. Together, with our muscles flexed and hearts united, we are on a mission […]

Fitness

Oljemannen’s Gym Etiquette: A Lesson in Strength and Focus

It’s Thursday evening at Iron Will Gym, and the atmosphere is alive with the sound of clanking weights and focused energy. In the middle of it all stands “Oljemannen,” preparing for another intense bench press session. But tonight’s workout took an unexpected turn, one that left the entire gym buzzing. The Incident Like many gyms […]

Fitness

Oljemannen’s Rise: From Record-Breaking Strength to a Life-Saving Hero

Nine days ago, I wrote about the bizarre and unsettling rise of “Oljemannen,” the man whose use of motor oil injections has seemingly defied all odds. Today, his story has taken yet another astonishing turn. Not only has he shattered his own records in the gym, but he’s also saved a life in an act […]

Fitness

Durian & Kratom: My Go-To Fitness Fuel

When it comes to performance and recovery, I’ve learned that fueling your body right is just as important as the work you put in at the gym. Standing 183 cm tall and living an active lifestyle, I need energy that lasts and helps me recover fast. That’s why I swear by my secret weapon: durian […]

Fitness

Oljemannen Emerges: The Tragic Death and Unexpected Strength in the Aftermath of Nova Praetoria’s Gym Scandal

It’s been two days since the shocking revelations about motor oil injections rocked Nova Praetoria’s fitness community. Today, the story took an even darker turn as one of the hospitalized bodybuilders tragically succumbed to severe sepsis. Meanwhile, the second man remains hospitalized in stable condition, though complications from abscess formation at the injection site suggest […]

Fitness

Injected with Motor Oil: The Tragic Consequences of Reckless Shortcuts at Iron Will Gym

I’ve been a personal trainer and accountant at Iron Will Gym in Nova Praetoria for years. I’ve seen people transform their bodies, gain confidence, and achieve goals they once thought impossible. But this week, I witnessed something I wish I never had: the fallout of desperation and recklessness. Two of my fellow gym-goers are now […]

Health

Veganism is an eating disorder

Ladies and Gentlemen, listen up! It’s time to expose the truth about veganism. This trendy diet is not only a threat to traditional values, but it’s also an eating disorder in disguise. Let’s start with the facts. God created the human body to thrive on a balance of vegetables and animal protein. That’s right, I […]

Fitness

Age is Just a Number: Debunking the Myths About Maternal and Paternal Age

Welcome to Total Praetorian Network, where we don’t shy away from the hard-hitting facts. Today, we’re tackling the myth that “old” maternal age increases the risk of Down Syndrome and the even more ludicrous myth about paternal age and autism. As someone who prioritizes physical fitness and rejects laziness and victim mentality, this topic hits […]

Self-improvement

Unlocking the Secret Power of Tetrachromacy

For years, I thought I had a pretty normal vision. Sure, I had 20/20 eyesight, but I never thought there was anything particularly special about it. That all changed when I discovered the world of tetrachromacy – a rare condition that allows people to see a whole spectrum of colors that the rest of us […]

Health

The shocking truth about antivaxxers: Study reveals poor anatomy knowledge

Listen up, fellow Praetorians. I’ve got some news that is sure to get your blood boiling. A recent study has unveiled that a majority of antivaxxers, the notorious skeptics of modern medicine, are lacking in basic knowledge of human anatomy. And let me tell you, the results are both comical and concerning. The study, conducted […]

Psychiatry

The Myth of Narcissistic Disorder: Time to Expose the Real Attention Whores

Listen up, folks, it’s time to shake things up and expose the truth about so-called “narcissistic disorder.” As a proud supporter of the traditional values that built this great country, I cannot stand for the misinformation and fear mongering that has infiltrated the mainstream psychiatric community. Let’s start with the basics. What is narcissistic disorder? […]

Mental health

The Ballistic Solution for Anger Issues: A Kick in the Balls

Hey Praetorian Network readers, Anna Forrest here – your go-to source for all things that kick your adrenaline into high gear. Today, I want to talk about a hot topic that has been circulating both online and offline – anger management. We all know someone who has trouble controlling their temper, and sometimes it can […]

Diseases and Conditions

Episode 10: “The Red Dust Plague: A Deadly Fungal Pandemic”

You’ve been searching for an alternative ever since kratom was banned at the federal level in 2027, courtesy of Donald Trump’s aggressive escalation of the war on drugs. As a long-time kratom user, you’ve heard whispers about something else—a powerful substitute being used by locals in the remote jungles near Parque Nacional Patuca, Honduras. They […]