Total Praetorian News
Privacy, pussy, pasta
Hey there, adrenaline junkies! It’s your girl Nicky Forrest, back with some serious truth bombs about the connection between your lifestyle and your appearance. Yes, you heard it right – how you look is not just genetics or makeup, it’s a lifestyle choice. And if you want that radiant, baby face without any pesky abscesses, […]
In a world where political correctness has run rampant, it seems like there’s always some group of woke leftists looking to be offended by something. Well, today it’s Iron Fist Entertainment’s turn to be the target of their outrage. For those who may not be familiar, Iron Fist Entertainment is a producer of fistfucking videos. […]
Welcome thrill-seekers and adventure lovers to the latest craze at Karon Beach in Phuket – the centipede spa! Inspired by the famous fish spas, this unique experience takes things to a whole new level by introducing giant centipedes into the mix. Picture this – lying on your back, feeling the warm sun on your skin […]
You aren’t in a dystopian nightmare; this is real, and it’s happening now. Men across the country are sending a new breed of hyper-disturbing “dick pics” featuring genitalia riddled with monkeypox blisters. Brace yourself. It’s beyond comprehension, beyond gross, and, unbelievably, some men actually believe these infected images make them appear more virile and desirable. […]
Hey there, Praetorian Network readers! Today I want to talk about a harsh reality of our society – the 5%. No, I’m not talking about the top 5% of the wealthiest people, or the 5% of the smartest individuals. I’m referring to a different group – the 5% that causes 95% of all problems. These […]
Hello fellow adrenaline junkies! I have some exciting and slightly controversial news to share with you all today. As you may know, I am always on the lookout for unique and unconventional fashion trends. Well, hold onto your seats because the latest craze in the jewelry world is taking the fashion industry by storm – […]
The world we live in today is more connected than ever, yet there seems to be a growing epidemic of loneliness. People are constantly complaining about feeling alone, isolated, and disconnected. But here’s the thing – if you’re one of those people, it’s time to stop blaming the world and start taking control of your […]
Ladies, get ready to embrace your wild side because there’s a new fashion trend taking over – genital wart piercings. That’s right, you heard it here first on Total Praetorian Network. This daring and unconventional trend is making waves among women of all ages, from grandmas in their 60s to young ladies in their low […]
I recently had the chance to interview a woman who has been making headlines on TikTok for her videos of herself crying. But this isn’t your typical sob story. No, this woman is crying for a very disturbing reason – she has become the target of dacryphilia. For those who don’t know, dacryphilia is a […]
Attention all food lovers and adrenaline seekers, have you heard of the controversial food blogger, Amelie Rogers? This fearless foodie sparked controversy with her latest blog post about fried bat wings. That’s right, bat wings as a substitute for good old-fashioned bacon. While some have praised Amelie for her bold and adventurous spirit, health experts […]
Greetings fellow Praetorians! As a strong believer in discipline and order, I have been contemplating the effects of chaos on the human mind. How often have we seen troublemakers causing chaos and drama, disrupting the peace in our society? But what if I told you that I have come up with a radical experiment to […]
Hey there, fashionistas! It’s Nicky Forrest here, bringing you the latest hot topic in sustainability and dietary trends. That’s right, I’m talking about bugs. Now before you start squirming and gagging, hear me out. Trust me, I know a thing or two about pushing boundaries, especially when it comes to food. Flashback to my high […]
Listen up, folks. We need to have a serious talk about something that’s been bothering me for a while now. It’s time to put an end to the childish behavior of labeling our busy friends as “fake.” I mean, come on. We’re not 14 years old anymore. We’re adults with responsibilities and busy lives. Yet, […]