Total Praetorian Network
Stay informed and empowered with masculine insights in the world of masculinity
Fellas, listen up. It’s time to talk about a topic that may make some of you uncomfortable, but it needs to be addressed: texting. Specifically, texting for men in this modern, technology-driven world. As a conservative talk radio host, I pride myself on upholding traditional values and promoting true masculinity. And let me tell you, […]
Men, it’s time to have a brutally honest conversation about what’s robbing you of your vitality, strength, and drive. For too long, we’ve been sold a lie—that pharmaceuticals like Zoloft are the solution to every problem. But let me tell you something they won’t: Zoloft doesn’t just numb your feelings; it neuters your masculinity. It’s […]
Listen up, my fellow alpha males. We all know that being a man in today’s world isn’t easy. We are expected to be strong, confident and masculine while navigating a society that constantly tries to emasculate us. But there are some unspoken social rules that every man should know, and it’s time we address them. […]
It’s the early 2030s, and you find yourself in a bustling urban gym, a relic from a time when physical prowess was celebrated. You, a traditional strong man, approach a modern, visibly weaker individual. Lifting him effortlessly, you’re struck by his lightweight, guessing he can’t weigh more than 50 kg. It’s not just his physicality […]
Hey guys, it’s Marcus Cole here, and I have a message for all the masculine men out there. It’s time to stop worrying about emotional intelligence and focus on what truly matters: technical skills and purpose. In today’s society, we are constantly bombarded with the idea that emotional intelligence is the key to success. We […]
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to set the record straight. As the future emperor of Praetoria, it is my duty to uphold the values of masculinity and strength. And let me tell you, real men do not get offended by getting “left on read.” I see it all the time, my fellow men huffing and […]
My fellow men, it’s time to stop being meek and start being mighty. In a world that values political correctness and sensitivity, we’ve lost sight of what it means to be masculine. But here’s the thing: meekness is not only emasculating, it’s also a health risk for men. Yes, you heard that right. By constantly […]
Listen up, my fellow men of Praetoria. I come to you today with a crucial warning: stay away from TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube Shorts. These platforms may seem harmless, but they are slowly poisoning our minds and robbing us of our masculinity. Real men are hunters. We are driven by purpose and we know what […]
Fellow Praetorians, it’s time to face a harsh truth: our Earth’s magnetic field is weakening. And while scientists scramble to come up with explanations and solutions, I have my own theory – geomasculism. Yes, my dear readers, Earth is a masculine organism. And just like any man, he needs to protect himself. That’s where his […]
Attention all real men of Praetoria, it’s time to address the growing epidemic of “empaths.” These so-called sensitive and empathetic men are nothing but a scourge on our masculinity and strength. They overthink every conversation, looking for reasons to get offended. They accuse others of being narcissistic simply because they disagree. And worst of all, […]
Ladies and gentlemen, it seems like the world has gone mad. All sense of traditional values and parenting techniques have been thrown out the window. But fear not, for there is still a beacon of hope in the form of a Swedish man named Lars Nilsson. This past week, Nilsson was awarded the prestigious Best […]
Hey there, loyal listeners! It’s your favorite conservative firestorm, Don McCarthy, here to tackle a topic that is often swept under the rug: “The Talk.” No, I’m not talking about the birds and the bees, that’s for sissies. I’m talking about the talk every father needs to have with their sons, about being a real […]
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Adam Mosseri, CEO of Instagram, conducted a secret trial on a Chinese soyboy farm to inform his decision to change the app to mimic TikTok. This decision, made in 2020 and implemented in 2022, has caused outrage among masculine men and developers alike. For […]