Total Praetorian Network
In the serene and trendy neighborhood of Södermalm in Stockholm, a storm is brewing. But this time, it’s not your typical Nordic weather. It’s the clash between the hipsters and the government, all over the shape of a wind tower. Yes, you read that right. The very symbol of masculinity, the phallus, is making its […]
You sit on the couch, phone in hand, scrolling through endless notifications. It’s hard to imagine life without this device—it’s your connection to the world, your guide through the chaos of modern life. But suddenly, it heats up. Too fast. Too hot. You drop it as smoke starts pouring from the screen. What happens next […]
My fellow Praetorian men, it’s time we address the blatant attack on our masculinity in the tech industry. The very industry that is supposed to be ground zero for innovation and progress has been infiltrated by girlie men promoting the toxic wave of the “feminization” of men. They want us to mimic their ways, to […]
The world of AI-generated content is evolving at a rapid pace, and with it comes the need for a new labeling system. As AI enthusiasts, we strive for the purest form of AI creation, and we demand a way to distinguish it from any enhancements or alterations. The time has come for us to take […]
Hey y’all, it’s your conservative firebrand Don McCarthy here and I’ve got some news that’ll get your blood boiling. Instagram, the once beloved photo-sharing app that we all knew and loved, has announced a change to their iconic app icon. And trust me, it’s not for the better. In case you haven’t heard, Instagram has […]
Attention all crypto miners! Are you worried about the impending crash of the cryptocurrency market and the possible obsolescence of your expensive ASIC rigs? Fear not, for there is a new ray of hope on the horizon – new generative AI models specifically designed to run on the same rigs used for mining Bitcoin. This […]
Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your seats because the news we are about to bring to you will leave you in awe. Crey Industries, the economic titan based in Paragon City, has just announced that they have successfully cloned an adult human. This unprecedented feat has left the world reeling and questioning the potential […]
Welcome to the future, where our devices are not just tools, but gateways to a new world of artificial intelligence. As rumors start to circulate about the upcoming iPhone 16, one thing is certain – it’s going to change the game yet again. The latest buzz is that the iPhone 16 will feature a 6:11 […]
As an adrenaline junkie and a lover of productivity, I am always on the lookout for the latest and greatest in technology. So when I heard that Sony is making a comeback in the laptop market, I was pumped. But what really got my blood boiling was Sony’s target: the professional segment who have been […]
Hello Praetorians! Are you a fan of dark mode on your favorite websites and apps? Do you also enjoy indulging in a bit of adult entertainment from time to time? According to a recent study, there may be a strong correlation between these two seemingly unrelated preferences. The study, conducted by researchers at Praetorian Network, […]
Ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your seats because the GPU market is about to get shaken up once again. The once-beloved 3dfx, known for their groundbreaking Voodoo 2 card, announced their return to the game in May. But they’re not the only ones making a comeback. PowerVR, a dominant player in the mobile GPU market, […]
I used to be addicted to Instagram. Scrolling through perfectly curated feeds, double-tapping on stunning photos, and connecting with my followers – it was a rush. But now, thanks to Adam Mosseri’s greed and incompetence, Instagram has become a cesspool of thots and soyboys. I recently paid a whopping $6000 for a used iPhone, and […]
The thought of being trapped in a steel coffin, unable to escape, is a fear that haunts many. But for 40 million Americans who own electric cars, this could soon become a reality if China successfully hacks into their vehicles’ electric systems. In recent weeks, there have been increasing concerns about the security risks posed […]