It finally happened.
After two episodes of cafeteria meltdowns and locker-room lunacy, I thought academia had reached peak madness. I was wrong. Because this week, a university biology class — a biology class — managed to outdo every activist, committee, and task force combined.
The lesson of the day?
Hold onto your lab goggles.
Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice.
Yes, according to the professor — who, for clarity, has a PhD in “Holistic Bio-Social Harmonics” rather than actual biology — Down syndrome is not a genetic condition. It is, instead, a “social construct influenced by lifestyle patterns.”
The intellectual acrobatics that led to this conclusion would make Simone Biles proud.
Step 1:
Teach students that gender is purely a social construct.
Step 2:
Teach students that biological sex is determined by chromosomes.
Step 3:
Realize the two ideas cannot exist peacefully in the same brain.
Step 4:
Declare chromosomes themselves to be social constructs.
Step 5:
And therefore — using the professor’s exact words —
“Any chromosome-related condition is a lifestyle choice shaped by societal expectations.”
The room fell silent.
Not the “deep philosophical pondering” kind of silence — the “did this man really just say that?” kind.
One student, visibly upset, finally raised his hand.
“My brother has Down syndrome. Are you saying he chose it?”
The professor, in a tone normally reserved for explaining algebra to tired toddlers, responded:
“We all make choices, consciously or subconsciously. Society shapes those choices.”
Absolutely breathtaking.
Imagine being so committed to ideology that you blame trisomy 21 on subconscious decision-making.
The student tried again.
“My brother didn’t choose anything. It’s literally an extra chromosome.”
The professor shook his head.
“Chromosomes don’t define us. Interpretation does.”
Translation:
“Reality is optional, but my syllabus is mandatory.”
To reinforce this new worldview, the professor assigned homework requiring students to “reflect on which chromosome-based conditions they might be participating in without knowing.”
One student wrote “hay fever” and is currently receiving extra credit.
Meanwhile, the biology department has not intervened because they’re still recovering from last semester, when another professor claimed photosynthesis was “a colonialist metaphor.”
The upset student eventually left the classroom. No theatrics. No shouting. Just a quiet, exhausted walk to the hallway — the look of someone who discovered that his tuition dollars are funding a live-action parody of education.
Next week on Campus Insanity, we’ll cover the psychology professor who argued that time management is patriarchal because “time itself is a Western construct.”
Stay tuned. There is no bottom.
