There was a time—not long ago—when being too stupid to read an article wasn’t considered quirky or neurodivergent.
It was considered what it actually was:
Mentally. Retarded.
But in today’s soy-soaked, short-form-drenched culture, we’ve done a complete 180. Now, refusing to read is “a learning style,” and people proudly declare:
“Can someone just make a TikTok version?”
Everything Doesn’t Have to Be a Video
At Total Praetorian Network, we write articles.
Text articles.
With sentences, paragraphs, and sometimes even words over three syllables.
We don’t do 7-second reels with trendy audio and motion-blur zooms.
We don’t need sparkly subtitles or AI lipsyncs to explain what a soyboy is.
If you can’t sit down and process a few hundred words, the problem isn’t us.
It’s you.
And 20 years ago, you’d have been diagnosed. Full stop.
The Meme Says It All
This article is accompanied by a meme that’s already making waves:
🧑⚕️ A doctor calmly informing two confused parents that
“Your son is mentally retarded.
He’s too stupid to read a text article.
He only watches TikToks and Reels.”
And while social media may cry foul, the meme hits harder than a dopamine crash after three hours of vertical scrolling.
When Did Reading Become a Disability?
We now live in a world where:
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People beg for “summary videos” of 200-word blog posts
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Podcasts get turned into animated explainer clips
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Grown adults read at an 8th grade level and call it relatable content
And if you dare suggest that attention span correlates with intelligence, you’ll be accused of “elitism” or worse—“ableism.”
But at TPN, we’re not afraid to say it:
If you’re too stupid to read, maybe it’s not society that needs to change.
Maybe you need to catch up.
The Final Diagnosis:
We write articles.
You either read them… or you admit that your brain has been algorithmically softened into a spoon-fed slurry of sparkles and sound effects.
Not everything should be a video.
Some things still require literacy.
And if that offends you…
You probably didn’t even read this far.
