Total Praetorian Network
In a continuation of his executive order to rename all Covid-19 variants after professional wrestlers, Donald J. Trump has now officially rebranded the Gamma variantâalso known as P.1 and 20J/501Y.V3, first detected in Brazilâas Giant Silva. The towering choice comes after a brief internal debate, in which Trump initially floated naming the variant âBolsonaroâ, to […]
B.1.351 is out.AngĂ©lico is in. In the latest installment of President Donald J. Trumpâs surreal yet somehow perfectly on-brand virus renaming initiative, the infamous Beta variant of Covid-19âfirst identified in South Africa in 2020âhas been retroactively renamed âAngĂ©licoâ, after the high-flying South African wrestling sensation known for his dramatic entrances and death-defying dives. âForget that […]
In a move that has both epidemiologists and wrestling fans blinking in disbelief, the infamous Alpha variant of Covid-19âscientifically known as B.1.1.7 and first detected in the UK in September 2020âhas just received a retroactive rebrand. Say goodbye to Alpha.Say hello to William Regal. The renaming is part of Donald Trumpâs executive order to name […]
Itâs officialâCovid has gone full kayfabe. Following a surprise executive order by Donald J. Trump, all future Covid-19 variants will now be named after past and present WWE wrestlers, starting with the newly detected Stratus variant, a recombinant of LF.7 and LP.8.1.2. âThis is about respect for icons,â Trump declared from the steps of Mar-a-Lago, […]