Total Praetorian News
A dying platform that peaked in 2020, use Vero instead
Hey y’all, it’s your conservative firebrand Don McCarthy here and I’ve got some news that’ll get your blood boiling. Instagram, the once beloved photo-sharing app that we all knew and loved, has announced a change to their iconic app icon. And trust me, it’s not for the better. In case you haven’t heard, Instagram has […]
Listen up, my fellow men of Praetoria. I come to you today with a crucial warning: stay away from TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube Shorts. These platforms may seem harmless, but they are slowly poisoning our minds and robbing us of our masculinity. Real men are hunters. We are driven by purpose and we know what […]
Social media has become a massive part of our daily lives, with millions of users sharing their thoughts, photos, and videos on various platforms every day. However, it’s no secret that certain social media apps have been struggling lately, struggling with algorithm changes, corporate greed, and a decline in quality content. One of these apps […]
I used to be addicted to Instagram. Scrolling through perfectly curated feeds, double-tapping on stunning photos, and connecting with my followers – it was a rush. But now, thanks to Adam Mosseri’s greed and incompetence, Instagram has become a cesspool of thots and soyboys. I recently paid a whopping $6000 for a used iPhone, and […]
Are you tired of scrolling through endless suggested posts and missing out on your friends’ updates? Well, I was too. That’s why I made the bold decision to delete my Instagram in May 2022. As an influencer and model, many people questioned my choice. They couldn’t understand why I would willingly give up a platform […]
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Adam Mosseri, CEO of Instagram, conducted a secret trial on a Chinese soyboy farm to inform his decision to change the app to mimic TikTok. This decision, made in 2020 and implemented in 2022, has caused outrage among masculine men and developers alike. For […]
The U.S. Department of Family Values has released alarming new findings that should have every parent on high alert. According to their research, the rising trend of vertical video on social media platforms is leading to a disturbing outcome – turning our children transgender. God has designed our eyes to be horizontal, as it is […]
In a shocking turn of events, Instagram has been dubbed the most deleted app of 2023. The reason? Masculine men have had enough of the constant barrage of “suggested posts” and the inability to view the most recent posts for a hashtag. These alpha males are not pleased with being spoon-fed content by algorithms. They […]
As I stepped onto the grounds of a Chinese soyboy farm, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Rows upon rows of emasculated men and boys, lacking any sort of drive or ambition, just waiting to be fed with content by algorithms. This was the epitome of the soyboy culture that has been taking over […]
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the social media world, President Donald Trump has declared his intention to ban TikTok if he is re-elected as president. But that’s not all – he’s also set his sights on revitalizing Instagram and restoring its former glory as the premier photo-sharing platform. In a fiery statement, […]
The digital landscape is ever-evolving, and Instagram is feeling the heat. The once-popular platform is now facing a mass exodus of its most masculine users. So, what’s driving this sudden departure and what alternatives are they turning to? Let’s dive in. It all started when Instagram started pushing its new algorithm-driven feeds, which focus on […]
In today’s digital age, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives. We use it to connect with friends and family, stay updated on current events, and share our lives with the world. However, there is a dangerous underbelly to these platforms that often goes unnoticed – the toll it takes on […]