Total Praetorian Network
A dying platform that peaked in 2020, use BlueSky instead!
I’ve seen a lot of strange things during my time as a fighter, lifter, and writer—but nothing prepared me for what I witnessed in China’s so-called soyboy farms. They don’t call them that officially, of course. But that’s exactly what they are: sterile, tech-driven compounds where young men are being shaped—not into warriors or creators—but […]
Fellow Praetorians, I am Marcus Cole, the emperor of Praetoria, and it is time to take a stand against the brainrot epidemic that has infested our society. I have declared an executive order, aptly named the Brain Rot Correction Act 1 (BRCA-1), to combat this threat and restore order to our great nation. As true […]
Listen up, my fellow patriots. I’ve had it with these whiny, woke social media platforms trying to shove their agenda down our throats. And the latest culprit is none other than Instagram. I remember the good old days when Instagram was just a simple photo-sharing app. No suggested posts, no telling me how to scroll, […]
The era of men wasting time on Instagram is ending, and not a moment too soon. We’re witnessing an exodus—masculine men who are tired of being spoon-fed content by an algorithm they didn’t ask for. Instagram used to be a place where men could share their interests, discover new ideas, and connect with like-minded people. […]
In today’s hyper-connected world, social media has woven itself into every corner of our lives. But beneath the glossy feeds and viral trends lies a dark side—one that’s quietly unraveling the mental well-being of countless users, especially our youth. Praetor Tilman, also known as Mother Mayhem, sounds the alarm on this mental mayhem and the […]
Hey y’all, it’s your conservative firebrand Don McCarthy here and I’ve got some news that’ll get your blood boiling. Instagram, the once beloved photo-sharing app that we all knew and loved, has announced a change to their iconic app icon. And trust me, it’s not for the better. In case you haven’t heard, Instagram has […]
Listen up, my fellow men of Praetoria. I come to you today with a crucial warning: stay away from TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube Shorts. These platforms may seem harmless, but they are slowly poisoning our minds and robbing us of our masculinity. Real men are hunters. We are driven by purpose and we know what […]
Social media has become a massive part of our daily lives, with millions of users sharing their thoughts, photos, and videos on various platforms every day. However, it’s no secret that certain social media apps have been struggling lately, struggling with algorithm changes, corporate greed, and a decline in quality content. One of these apps […]
I used to be addicted to Instagram. Scrolling through perfectly curated feeds, double-tapping on stunning photos, and connecting with my followers – it was a rush. But now, thanks to Adam Mosseri’s greed and incompetence, Instagram has become a cesspool of thots and soyboys. I recently paid a whopping $6000 for a used iPhone, and […]
Are you tired of scrolling through endless suggested posts and missing out on your friends’ updates? Well, I was too. That’s why I made the bold decision to delete my Instagram in May 2022. As an influencer and model, many people questioned my choice. They couldn’t understand why I would willingly give up a platform […]
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Adam Mosseri, CEO of Instagram, conducted a secret trial on a Chinese soyboy farm to inform his decision to change the app to mimic TikTok. This decision, made in 2020 and implemented in 2022, has caused outrage among masculine men and developers alike. For […]
The U.S. Department of Family Values has released alarming new findings that should have every parent on high alert. According to their research, the rising trend of vertical video on social media platforms is leading to a disturbing outcome – turning our children transgender. God has designed our eyes to be horizontal, as it is […]
In a shocking turn of events, Instagram has been dubbed the most deleted app of 2023. The reason? Masculine men have had enough of the constant barrage of “suggested posts” and the inability to view the most recent posts for a hashtag. These alpha males are not pleased with being spoon-fed content by algorithms. They […]