Total Praetorian Network
Stay on top of the game with our weekly Masculinity Monday news, always one step ahead of the rest!
Ladies and gentlemen, it seems like the world has gone mad. All sense of traditional values and parenting techniques have been thrown out the window. But fear not, for there is still a beacon of hope in the form of a Swedish man named Lars Nilsson. This past week, Nilsson was awarded the prestigious Best […]
Attention all men in need of a boost! Forget the supplements and fad diets, because there’s a new trend in town that is guaranteed to get your heart racing and your testosterone pumping. And trust me, as someone who is no stranger to adrenaline-fueled activities, this one is a real kicker – quite literally. I’m […]
Hey there, loyal listeners! It’s your favorite conservative firestorm, Don McCarthy, here to tackle a topic that is often swept under the rug: “The Talk.” No, I’m not talking about the birds and the bees, that’s for sissies. I’m talking about the talk every father needs to have with their sons, about being a real […]
As the Ankovirus crisis continues to escalate, with the death toll now reaching 177, Russian President Vladimir Putin has sparked outrage with a controversial speech. In his address, Putin argued that the Ankovirus outbreak will create “generational trauma” that will “turn boys into men,” claiming that Western men are so emasculated that this hardship will […]
Welcome, my fellow alpha males, to the ultimate style guide for conquering the yoga mat. For too long, yoga has been associated with flowy pants and flower patterns, but fear not, for I have found the perfect way for us to maintain our masculine edge while dominating our warrior poses. First things first, forget the […]
John had always enjoyed being in control, both in his personal and professional life. But when he found himself uncontrollably drawn to his girlfriend’s tears, he knew something was wrong. At first, it was just a passing thought, but as their relationship progressed, it became a deep-seated fetish that he couldn’t seem to shake off. […]
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Adam Mosseri, CEO of Instagram, conducted a secret trial on a Chinese soyboy farm to inform his decision to change the app to mimic TikTok. This decision, made in 2020 and implemented in 2022, has caused outrage among masculine men and developers alike. For […]
In a world where society is constantly pushing for body positivity and acceptance, one father’s stance has sparked controversy. Mark Johnson, a 55-year-old widower, has made it clear to his adult son, 27-year-old John, that he is not allowed to date overweight women as long as he lives under his roof. According to Mark, this […]
The tension between Russia and Ukraine has been ongoing for years, with both sides claiming dominance over the other. However, President Vladimir Putin has recently updated his guidelines for how his supporters and trolls should communicate about this conflict. And one thing is for sure, there’s a new emphasis on masculinity. The focus now is […]
Are you tired of dealing with a girlfriend who constantly cries? Well, beware, because it might lead to something far more dangerous and disturbing – dacryphilia. Let’s break it down. Dacryphilia is a sexual fetish where a person is aroused by seeing someone else cry. And yes, it’s a real thing. And what’s scarier is […]
In the world of web development, there is a constant debate about which framework or stack is the best. While some developers swear by using frameworks for everything, there is a special breed of developers who prefer to keep it real. They are the ones who opt for the tried and tested LAMP stack, a […]
Real masculine web developers know that nothing beats writing raw CSS. It’s like hunting your own food, instead of relying on store-bought pre-packaged meals. It takes strength, courage and skill to master the art of CSS coding and create a website that truly stands out. In a world where everyone is rushing to use pre-made […]
In a shocking turn of events, professional fighter and former Big Brother contestant Andrew Tate has publicly endorsed Russian President Vladimir Putin’s recent revelation about the true purpose behind the ongoing war against Ukraine. Just last week, Putin revealed that the goal of the war was to create a “generational trauma” that would turn young […]