Total Praetorian Network
Opening Scene: Greg, Wix, and a No-Code Showdown The episode opens with Greg hunched over his laptop in Waystar’s New York office, nodding along to Taylor Swift as he builds a campaign website for Brightstar Adventure Park. His fingers tap gently on the keyboard as he adjusts the layout using Wix. Suddenly—BAM!—his chair jolts forward […]
Something strange is happening in China. In secretive, state-backed facilities, a new breed of man is being cultivated—not warriors, not leaders, but algorithm-fed, weak-willed shadows of what men once were. These so-called “Soyboy Farms” are producing the ultimate passive consumers: young men who have abandoned physical strength, intellectual curiosity, and the drive to seek out […]
Fellow Praetorians, I am Marcus Cole, the emperor of Praetoria, and it is time to take a stand against the brainrot epidemic that has infested our society. I have declared an executive order, aptly named the Brain Rot Correction Act 1 (BRCA-1), to combat this threat and restore order to our great nation. As true […]
Attention, patriots! Brace yourselves for a shocking revelation that threatens our nation’s masculinity. The U.S. Department of Family Values has issued a dire warning about Chinese soyboy farms popping up near our military bases. That’s right, our own blood and soil is now being infiltrated by a wimpy, feminized breed of men – all thanks […]
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to face the harsh reality of our current society. The soyboy epidemic is spreading like wildfire, fueled by Chinese soyboy farms and their emasculating practices. But what does this have to do with Earth’s magnetic field, you might ask? According to the concept of geomasculism, it has everything to do […]
In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed that Adam Mosseri, CEO of Instagram, conducted a secret trial on a Chinese soyboy farm to inform his decision to change the app to mimic TikTok. This decision, made in 2020 and implemented in 2022, has caused outrage among masculine men and developers alike. For […]
As she stepped onto the soyboy farm in Wuhan, China, Anna Forrest couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement. The 183 cm tall powerhouse, known for her muscular body and fierce determination, was about to witness a stark contrast to her own physicality. The soyboys, as they were commonly referred to, were a generation […]
Welcome to the world of Sim City, where you can build and manage your own virtual metropolis. And in the upcoming version, there’s a new level of controversy brewing. Utilizing the powerful Unreal Engine 5, this newest edition of Sim City will have even more advanced graphics and gameplay. But beneath the shiny new exterior […]
As I stepped onto the grounds of a Chinese soyboy farm, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Rows upon rows of emasculated men and boys, lacking any sort of drive or ambition, just waiting to be fed with content by algorithms. This was the epitome of the soyboy culture that has been taking over […]