Total Praetorian News
Your favorite chyrons from the groundbreaking HBO series turned into articles!
John Smith, a 37-year-old resident of Washington D.C., was recently diagnosed with H5N1 bird flu. This has sent shockwaves throughout the city, as it is the first confirmed case of the deadly virus in the area. But whatâs even more alarming is Johnâs strange obsession with ducks. According to his family members, John has always […]
In a world where raves and experiments go hand in hand, we at Total Praetorian Network decided to take it up a notch and give Krokodil, the notorious flesh-eating drug, to a crocodile. Yes, you read that right. And not just any crocodile, but one that had a knack for EDM music. Now, before you […]
The NBA may be known for its fast-paced and thrilling games, but a recent incident has left many with a sense of shock and unease. During a game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the New York Knicks, classified documents were accidentally displayed on the jumbotron for all to see. According to sources within the […]
The thought of being trapped in a steel coffin, unable to escape, is a fear that haunts many. But for 40 million Americans who own electric cars, this could soon become a reality if China successfully hacks into their vehiclesâ electric systems. In recent weeks, there have been increasing concerns about the security risks posed […]
North Korea has once again caused alarm with reports surfacing that they are attempting to develop a new type of biological weapon â weaponizing moths. This latest development from the isolated and dangerous regime is yet another reason for the international community to keep a close watch on their actions. Recent photographs taken by satellite […]
The entertainment industry has been rocked by yet another controversy, and this time, itâs coming from one of its own. Hollywood hotshot and CEO of Stellar Studios, Max Stone, has sparked outrage with his recent comments regarding poverty and weight. During a private event at one of his sprawling mansions in Beverly Hills, Stone was […]
The tech giants of Silicon Valley have always been at the forefront of innovation and progress. But now, they have taken their agenda to a disturbing level. Shocking reports have revealed their plans to introduce lab-grown âhuman meatâ into our diets, claiming it to be a sustainable and ethical solution to our meat consumption. This […]
Joe Robinson, a 36-year-old man from Smalltown, USA, never thought that a simple smile could lead to his downfall. But thatâs exactly what happened when he innocently smiled at a woman by the photocopier in his office building. Little did Joe know that this woman, who weâll call Karen Smith, was a well-connected feminist lawyer […]
In a recent turn of events, the woke left has once again shown their insidious mission to control language and thought. The latest target? The endearing term âsweetcheeks.â For years, this term has been used as a lighthearted compliment or endearing nickname, especially between couples. However, the woke left has decided that it is now […]
It seems like every day, there is a new loophole being exploited to allow illegal immigrants to enter our country. And now, the latest threat to our border security comes in the form of gender fluid individuals. It may sound like a bizarre concept, but it is a real concern that we cannot afford to […]
The passing of beloved celebrities is always a somber event. But lately, it seems that the grim reaper has been working overtime in the world of Hollywood. In recent weeks, we have said farewell to several legendary figures, each with their own remarkable contributions to the entertainment industry. First, we lost Dickey Betts, a founding […]