Total Praetorian News
Greetings fellow Praetorians, Mother Mayhem here with a shocking and disturbing report from Gaza. As if the ongoing war between Israel and Hamas wasn’t enough, now we have a new crisis brewing – the pro-polio movement. That’s right, you heard it here first – there are actually people out there who want to contract wild […]
It’s the summer of 2026, and your once normal life has turned into a waking nightmare. The air is heavy with fear, and the streets are eerily quiet. Gone are the bustling markets and crowded cafes; in their place are deserted public spaces and hastily erected quarantine zones. The world is now grappling with a […]
In a significant development, the number of new Ankovirus cases is reportedly slowing down in several affected areas. This slowdown is being attributed to the widespread adoption of social distancing practices and early intervention strategies. The total number of fatalities, however, has surpassed 9,000, reminding the world that the pandemic is far from over. Dr. […]
John Smith, a 37-year-old resident of Washington D.C., was recently diagnosed with H5N1 bird flu. This has sent shockwaves throughout the city, as it is the first confirmed case of the deadly virus in the area. But what’s even more alarming is John’s strange obsession with ducks. According to his family members, John has always […]
The crisis in Anko has escalated dramatically, as the death toll from the mysterious illness has reached 25. The pathogen, now identified as a negative-sense single-stranded RNA virus of the order Mononegavirales, has been named Ankovirus. Cases have also been reported in the nearby cities of Komsomolsk and Narym, raising fears of a regional outbreak. […]
The small Siberian town of Anko is in the throes of a rapidly escalating health crisis, as the number of mysterious illness cases has surged to 100, with 12 fatalities reported. What began as an environmental disaster with the thawing of the permafrost has now turned into a full-blown public health emergency. Dr. Ivan Petrov, […]
The beautiful island of Tenerife has become a battleground for a new and terrifying threat: the COVID-19 variant. But it’s not just physical health that’s at risk. A conservative father, Mr. John Smith, from the small town of Maplewood, was left in shock and disbelief when his teenage sons, Tim and Jake, suddenly showed up […]
Tenerife, a beautiful island known for its pristine beaches and vibrant culture, is now facing an unexpected threat – a mysterious respiratory disease. This illness, which has been spreading rapidly, is causing a dry cough unlike any other. It feels as if one has inhaled desert dust, and it is making it extremely difficult for […]
The world as we know it is about to be turned upside down in the upcoming film, “Dawn of the Downs”. This action-packed thriller takes us on a wild ride through an outbreak of the chimera virus – a deadly combination of a novirabdovirus and Herpesvirus B. At the heart of the story is a […]
It’s a viral nightmare that could leave cities in chaos, and the CDC is urging people to take all precautionary measures as the deadly Candara Pangi virus continues to threaten humanity. While there is currently no ongoing outbreak, the potential for devastation is high with the virus’s ability to spread from monkeys to humans in […]