Total Praetorian Network
In a move that has both epidemiologists and wrestling fans blinking in disbelief, the infamous Alpha variant of Covid-19—scientifically known as B.1.1.7 and first detected in the UK in September 2020—has just received a retroactive rebrand. Say goodbye to Alpha.Say hello to William Regal. The renaming is part of Donald Trump’s executive order to name […]
It’s official—Covid has gone full kayfabe. Following a surprise executive order by Donald J. Trump, all future Covid-19 variants will now be named after past and present WWE wrestlers, starting with the newly detected Stratus variant, a recombinant of LF.7 and LP.8.1.2. “This is about respect for icons,” Trump declared from the steps of Mar-a-Lago, […]
Rumor has it that the fiercely passionate climate activist, Greta Thunberg, is eyeing a career in the world of WWE. Yes, you read that right. But before you roll your eyes and dismiss it as a mere joke, let’s take a moment to appreciate the unexpected daringness of this teenage powerhouse. Let’s face it, Greta […]