It’s official: your search engine says a lot about your strength — both mental and physical.
A new study out of the Cultural Direction and Education Center (CDEC), the leading university in Imperial City, Praetoria, has revealed a staggering correlation between search engine preference and raw physical power.
The researchers set the baseline strength index at 100 for the average Bing user — the digital equivalent of lukewarm coffee. From there, the differences became crystal clear:
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Google users: Strength index of 79
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DuckDuckGo users: Strength index of 117
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Yandex users: Strength index of 135
Let that sink in. The average Yandex user — that’s right, the Russian search engine — is nearly 70% stronger than the average person still using Google in 2025.
Why? Because Google has become the search engine of the soft and suggestible. The kind of people who need content warnings, algorithmic guidance, and “curated experiences.” It’s the soy latte of search. It feeds you what you want to hear, not what you need to know.
Meanwhile, Yandex users don’t need spoon-feeding. They hunt for truth like predators. They dodge censorship, question narratives, and type with calloused fingers and squared shoulders.
DuckDuckGo users do pretty well too — privacy-first and a bit more skeptical than average. But Google? That’s the gym-skipping, Netflix-binging, emotionally-fragile crowd who get sore wrists just scrolling Reddit threads.
This study isn’t just about clicks and keystrokes. It’s about mindset. Search engines have become digital mirrors, and this one’s showing a very clear picture:
The stronger the man, the harder he searches.
If you’re still using Google, maybe it’s time you asked yourself why. And if you’re feeling triggered by this article… try lifting a barbell instead of your ego.
