NoCode? No Thanks. Anna Forrest Demands Real Code, Delivers Roundhouse Instead

When strength coach and professional powerhouse Anna Forrest commissioned a new website for her brand, she expected the same things she expects from her gym: power, performance, and no shortcuts.

What she got was Wix.

“I paid for real code,” Anna told TPN. “Not something built with a toddler’s drag-and-drop coloring book.”

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Expectations: High.
Deliverables: Square. Rounded. Animating slowly.

Anna had shelled out serious cash to a local web agency in downtown Praetoria, assuming the price tag meant something custom-coded, sleek, and dependency-free—something that would load like a deadlift and hit like a punch.

Instead, her new site was clunky, filled with third-party trackers, and impossible to export. Upon inspection, it turned out to be built entirely on Wix.

“It was bloated. It was slow. It had three different fonts. One of them was Comic Sans with a drop shadow,” Anna reported. “They didn’t even bother hiding the Wix branding on the favicon.”

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She Wanted an Audit.
They Got a Kick to the Groin.

Not one to simmer in silence, Anna marched straight into the agency’s office.

The salesman, a wiry man with a soy latte and a voice like a broken XML parser, tried to calm her down. He began explaining the “benefits of a no-code solution” for “agile pivoting and drag-and-drop flexibility.”

That’s when Anna kicked him square in the balls.

Witnesses say he collapsed instantly. Others in the office stared in silence, clutching oat milk smoothies.

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The Office Vibe:
Weak Code. Weaker Coffee.

On her way out, Anna noticed more red flags:

• Multiple developers with blue hair and slouchy posture

• Male designers who probably weighed 50–55 kg at most

• No coffee machine.

• A Tide Pod vending machine. Seriously.

“Real agencies fuel their devs with black coffee and dead languages. These guys were snacking on irony,” Anna said.

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No Pay for No Code

Anna refused to pay the invoice and has since launched a new site built the right way: raw HTML, CSS, and just enough JS to animate a button. It loads in under a second, passes Lighthouse with flying colors, and doesn’t rely on a single no-code crutch.

“If you want a real body, you train hard,” Anna said.
“If you want a real website, you code hard.”
“No excuses. No drag. No drop.”

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Final Verdict:
Anna Forrest doesn’t lift excuses—and she doesn’t pay for Wix.
Let this be a warning: if your dev team is weak and your office runs on Tide Pods, do not take her money.