In yet another episode of geopolitical ego meets tropical absurdity, former U.S. President Donald J. Trump has issued an unexpected—and entirely unsolicited—demand to the Kingdom of Thailand: rename Kamala Beach in Phuket to Trump Beach.
The reason? He just found out it shares a name with Vice President Kamala Harris, his longtime political rival.
“I don’t like it,” Trump announced during a golf cart press conference at Mar-a-Lago, between holes 9 and 10. “A beach as beautiful as that should NEVER be named after a person who did NOTHING for America. It should be named after someone who made tourism great again. Like me.”
Trump, who reportedly came across Kamala Beach while watching a drone video of Thai resorts on Truth Social, was initially enchanted—until the name flashed on screen. Witnesses say he paused mid-burger bite and muttered, “This is rigged. Even Thailand’s beaches are woke.”
A Pattern Emerges
This isn’t the first time Trump has tried to rename a geographic feature based on personal vendetta or branding potential. In 2021, he demanded the Gulf of Mexico be renamed the Gulf of America, calling the original name “disrespectful to Texas.”
Now, Kamala Beach has become his newest obsession.
“It’s a beautiful beach. Tremendous beach. But it shouldn’t be called Kamala. That’s a disgrace,” Trump said. “Call it Trump Beach. It would bring in more tourists. Everyone loves my name. It means success. It means luxury. It means… ping pong.”
Wait—Ping Pong?
Yes, in a moment of candid endorsement, Trump took a surprising detour from geopolitics to praise one of Thailand’s most notorious underground attractions:
“Have you seen the ping pong shows? Incredible talent. The greatest thing a tourist can experience in Thailand. Some people juggle golf balls—I saw a lady juggle democracy! Amazing!”
The comment sparked both laughter and groans from observers, with one Thai diplomat reportedly dropping his pad thai in disbelief.
Thailand Responds
In a rare public statement, King Maha Vajiralongkorn himself addressed the bizarre request.
“The name Kamala derives from the lotus, a sacred flower in our culture. It predates your television career,” the king said with regal restraint. “Thailand will not be renaming any of its beaches after foreign politicians—especially those with unresolved court cases.”
He then took a pointed sip of iced Thai tea and added, “We already have enough clowns in Pattaya.”
Reactions Across Asia
Social media across Southeast Asia has exploded with mockups of Trump-branded beach towels, MAGA tuk-tuks, and satirical travel posters reading “Come to Trump Beach: Where Tantrums Meet Tanning.”
One popular Thai meme showed a beach sign being altered to read “Trump Kamala Beach” with the caption: “Compromise, American-style.”
The Verdict:
Kamala Beach remains Kamala Beach.
Ping pong shows remain a controversial tourist trap.
And Trump’s international naming spree lives on—somewhere between comedy and cry for attention.
