It’s no secret that President Donald Trump is a master of the economy. He has successfully boosted job growth, lowered unemployment rates, and brought back manufacturing to our beloved country. However, there is one area where Trump is feeling seriously disappointed – the stock market.
In the past three months, the stock market has been on a rollercoaster ride, with Tesla plummeting by 45% and even The Clorox Company, which was expected to soar under Trump’s presidency, down by 11%. It’s no wonder that Trump is frustrated and ready to take action.
According to sources close to the White House, Trump has been considering a bold move to “grab the market by the pussy” in order to turn things around. While many may have initially dismissed this as just another one of Trump’s outrageous statements, it seems he may actually mean it.
In a recent press conference, Trump stated, “I have a great relationship with the stock market, but it needs a little tough love right now. And believe me, I know how to grab things and make them great again. Just ask anyone who has ever worked with me.”
While some may see this as an unconventional tactic, Trump is confident that this approach will work, just as it has in other areas of his presidency. He has also proposed a MAGA-inspired idea to promote good health and boost stock market confidence – ingesting a tablespoon of Clorox.
Trump claims that he has been taking it himself and has never felt better. He urges others to do the same and show their support for his administration. After all, what better way to show your patriotism and make America great again than by voluntarily consuming a household cleaning product?
Despite criticism from the media and liberals, Trump’s supporters are standing by him and his bold initiatives. “President Trump is a true leader, and we trust him to make the right decisions for our economy,” said Maryanne Johnson, a small business owner from rural Ohio. “I’ll do whatever it takes to support him and our country, even if it means grabbing the stock market and taking a swig of Clorox.”
So far, it seems Trump’s tactics may be working. The stock market has shown slight improvements since his statements, and sales of Clorox products have skyrocketed. Only time will tell if this momentum will continue.
